Dealing with setbacks and keeping your mental health

Setbacks are common.

And we expect they’ll happen more and more in the future.

How do you deal with them?

Join The Our Shawn for the Future Done Right(TM) Show as we explore what we are seeing and what we need for the future.

Deanna Blair speaker on mental health and other issues joins us to discuss.

**NOTE: This is a general discussion of legal ideas and is not legal advice. You must consult counsel to get legal advice based on your facts and circumstances. Do not rely on the content of this message without consulting a lawyer. No attorney-client relationship is formed by this video.**

Here is the YouTube video: https://youtu.be/wdFZ2Ok8AOU

REMEMBER: More videos on the future economy are available at http://futuredoneright.com

Below is a machine transcript of the interview —

00:00:00.719 –> 00:00:08.910

Hey everyone is Dr. Sean, welcome to another edition of the future done right and today we’re going to be looking at overcoming challenges and setbacks.

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Think this is an important topic, particularly this time of year is we’re coming to the end of the year. We’re finishing

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Thousand 18 we’re getting ready for the beginning of that team. And that means there’s maybe some people are disappointed with the results things didn’t happen the way they expected

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We do have a great opportunity to bounce back and start playing for a new year. And a lot of people like that energy of setting new year’s resolutions and getting things in motion for the new year.

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But, you know, we need to think about how to deal with our setbacks. So Deanna Blair is joining us again. Today we’re going to talk about dealing with mental

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Mental health and setbacks and just kind of keeping that right mindset and putting things in perspective.

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And other strategy, she might have for for us, for those of you don’t know me as well. I’m Dr. Sean of a corporate lawyer by training.

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How people stuff on ownership and control their business that’s mergers that’s capital raise corporate transactions partnership agreements, I also do a lot of speaking about business strategy and planning.

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And this future done right show which you’re tuned into is all dedicated to looking to the future of business. What we see emerging and getting ahead of the trends.

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So that we can capitalize on that Deanna has a long background in business, she’s run several businesses. Now she’s working a lot in the mental health space.

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And really digging into helping organizations to speak and other ways of working with whatever challenges that they have helping people get through things and today we’ll be talking about

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Getting through challenges with mental health. So we love your comments dropping wherever you’re seeing. And if you’re seeing Dr. Shawna LinkedIn, the layer on LinkedIn.

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Are shining bright enzymes, Facebook, the future done right YouTube channel wherever you’re watching, just go ahead and drop those comments will be reading I look for great comments and invite people on to the show from the comments.

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And also I remind folks that we do not do investment advice or legal advice on the show. So I’ll try and advisors for that everything here is just for your education and thoughts.

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And then you’d go deeper with your professional advisors. So with that, welcome. Deanna thanks for joining me, you, good to see you today.

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So yeah, I mean it’s the end of the year.

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Some people are looking back and saying, Hey, that was a great year ago, a lot of stuff, Donna. I think some people are probably looking back with some disappointment, saying, I wish things that float a little smoother. I got that.

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The other things on how do you deal with setbacks at being one example.

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You know, that’s funny, because I dealt with six

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Do yesterday, and it was my birthday, so it’s it’s funny, and I you know I think I had to laugh at myself and I did.

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Yeah, because all these little setbacks that I had yesterday.

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I just said, Okay, you know that that happened. Great. I’m gonna move and then something else would happen. And I thought, okay, everything comes in threes. So, I’m ready. Yes. I got my boxing gloves on and ready to roll. You know,

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Yeah well for me. I just look at setbacks as that’s life. Yep. We can’t go through life expecting everything to be

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rainbows and and happy go lucky all the time. I mean, that’s kind of ridiculous. If we think like like that. Yeah. Oh, I feel like there’s always going to be setbacks and

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It’s it’s ultimately how you choose to deal with them. I mean, if you’re going to let that setback or those setbacks affects your day, then it’s going to bring you down and and that’s you know that’s not going to be okay. Later on, right.

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I think that’s where a lot of people have difficulty right we I talk a lot about planning. I encourage people to plan. I encourage people to build for the future.

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And what happens. Unfortunately, as a lot of people set a plan, they get the plan going and then unexpected things develop and that can cause a lot of frustration.

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What do you say, what do you say about that when you know things just you know you’ve got everything in order and somebody or something throws you off.

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Well, if it’s the same as my my yesterday. You know, I

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I look back on that. And I also look back on things that I did or didn’t accomplish throughout this year and and i think you know what, okay. It was on my list that massive list of two miles long, you know,

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It will continue to be on that list until I remove it so

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It’s, it’s going to float. I mean, I, you know, I’ll float it to another day I’ll make arrangements for another time frame, whatever I need to do to make it happen.

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I mean it’s it’s it’s not about letting that one obstacle one set that get in your way of life. I mean, those are going to happen and you can’t control it. It’s now it’s unstoppable. So

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So a big piece of its kind of perspective, right, I mean your perspective is, I’m working to a goal, and I’m not going to let

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Any one thing influence this. And I think part of it is knowing the reality. Right. So you have to set out knowing, regardless of what you’re trying to do. But there’s always going to be stuff’s going to pop up. You can’t lay

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As much as I encourage people to plan. You’ve got to leave wiggle room in there for the reality.

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Absolutely, absolutely. So, and, you know, it’s, it is about the goals, it’s, it’s about your purpose in life.

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Where do you see yourself in five years. Where do you see yourself in 10 years. Do you see yourself on a log of sitting there and thinking, well, what have I not done. Or, Why did I not accomplish this.

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Right, that’s not how I want to look at everything. I’m thinking, okay, so I had several difficulties. This year, but that’s not going to eliminate me from achieving my goal.

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You, ultimately, you have to continue have to find that that purpose of what’s driving you to the next step and moving further for moving forward without

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Yeah. Let’s dig a little deeper on that on purpose. So, you know,

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I think purpose helps a lot. How do people find and how they focus on a purpose. What suggestions or advice do you have for people, as far as like

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Just getting a hold of that meaning or that reason to keep going because I think a lot of people

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You know they have a perspective. They have an idea and then when things don’t happen. They have a hard time readjusting to resetting their expectations to setting new goals in light of the fact that maybe something didn’t work out or didn’t happen the way I’d hoped. Right, so

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I heard something this morning that really captured me it was

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Someone was saying, if you’re breathing, you have a purpose. And that really means the world because if if you’re, you know, sadly, if you’re on your deathbed, and

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Things are happening. Okay, you’ve lived a life. But if you’re breathing and you have something going on with with your future. You know that that’s that’s the purpose, right there. I mean, it’s

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There were many times in my life where I I’ve had so many difficulties so many setbacks and all I could think of was I have come so far for me not to give up. I can’t give up now because I have been down this path. I’ve been down that path. I’ve been kicked to the ground.

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You know I you know I just choose to say, you know what, I’m not gonna, I’m not going to be that way. I’m not going to let all of those obstacles obstacles, get in my way.

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I have a purpose. I have meaning there is something that’s driving me and I’m going to get there, regardless of what’s in the way. Yeah.

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So it’s about that refocusing and keeping it keeping visions on your goals and what do you recommend for people with that you have any, what do you do, and what do you recommend other people do as far as keeping an eye on the goal. And he has a vision boards, is it

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Writing your goals down. What do you recommend

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I think for me it’s a little bit of both are a little bit of everything I have vision boards I have goals I have, I have

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You know, things that I that I want to get off my plate.

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And that’s my main my main focus when I have a list that’s two or three miles long, I think, Okay, you know what, when am I going to get this off my list because this is driving me nuts.

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So for me it is it’s having that vision board if you need something that is big, bold letters telling you. Okay. This can be achieved by this day and I you know I definitely think that if you set a time frame.

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That has helped me tremendously over the last couple of years. I used to not do that, that I mean I been so much better about writing down my goals and a timeline.

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And unfortunately sometimes I’ve had a timeline, where I had obstacles, get in my way. And I had to say, okay, know what that time didn’t actually work for me. So let me make another time, and I will get it.

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Going to get off my plate so that that works for me.

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Yeah. A lot of people like timelines. I find that they’re very motivated. They forced you to take action. Right, so I will do this by this I mean some things by their very nature have timelines right i mean certain events happen annually certain things.

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Are just on a calendar so you definitely have to tie into goals there, but sometimes it’s good for people to put kind of, you know, their own timelines to say I want to get this done by this date.

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Or that date, but then I think you make a good point, which is

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You know, even if you don’t achieve your goals. Are you still make progress. Are you getting closer to it and maybe the initial timeline good magic didn’t work out because something popped off or something changed but you got to keep that perspective of stone moving forward.

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Absolutely, and I feel the same way. There were times that there still has been times lately, where I didn’t finish something,

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As you know, in the time frame that I needed needed at need me saying that to myself. I mean, I will put so many goals for myself.

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And I’m hard on myself if I didn’t achieve it. I’m thinking, Oh my gosh, what have I done, you know, but then I’m also thinking, well, I, I’ve moved forward though I’ve moved so

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Much closer to where I need to be rather than, you know, two years ago when I was sitting on that log not doing. Yes. So it is, it’s about

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Keep pushing forward and, you know, wherever you see yourself it you know it’s okay if you have a setback, you can still achieve it, if that’s what’s in your head, you know, you continue to keep

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All that information in your head saying, Okay, I am going to achieve this goal, I will make time to move forward with all everything I’m doing right now.

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Yeah, the theme of today seems to be flexibility we had Tom singer on earlier who talks about achieving or potential right so the paradox of potential and you know says you know your potential is always a moving target right as you get better your potential increases in here.

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You’re always got some gap between where you are in your potential. It’s very few people are actually you know they’re what they’re doing is they’re potential right

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But I think there’s, there’s, there’s a similar theme here. I’m seeing with the goal setting right it’s kind of a moving target.

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And as you get moving towards your goal, the timelines are going to have to adjust maybe a third party events are going to happen people gonna pop into the world and change things so you just got to kind of keep looking at

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Where you’re headed looking at where you are and reassess how often do you suggest people reassess and look at where they’re at. I mean, to kind of optimize that progress forward but also not create too much frustration. Is there a timeline or a period or anything you recommend

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You know, for me, Sean, I am i do that weekly I try to see what I’ve accomplished and what I still need to accomplish.

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Yes, there’s maybe a bigger goal that I haven’t achieved. Well, it’s still process. I mean I or progress. I still have to continue with

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Everything that I’m doing to lead up to my goal. So, all right, if you do that once a week. If you do it every couple of weeks.

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I think that’s perfect. I mean, you know, you have all these goals throughout the week anyway so why not look back on your week and say,

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Wow, this is what I’ve achieved this week how what a great feeling to remove some of the some of this off of my off my list and move forward to something else.

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Yeah, a specific strategies for that moment of

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Learning that may hit your goal right and you get the letter in the mail, you get the email from your client that you didn’t get the gig.

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Something big happens. And I know you know some people are going to go, you know, hit the bottle which you know i don’t think is probably the best strategy, but

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You know, what do you recommend people to step back when, you know, they get that back. Bad news or, you know, they’ve reached for it and they just didn’t get it now they’ve got to internalize, you know, a moment of failure. Yeah, any strategies or ideas for people there.

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So,

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Yesterday I received some news and actually a couple of different times. I received some news, but this one particular incident was

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Something that I have been really just trying to move forward with and it was kind of a setback. It was like, wow, okay. I just got kicked this is okay with me.

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But as I went through my day. I first I didn’t let that get me down because I thought, okay, I am a person that is not going to accept no for an answer will always keep going, no matter what happens. So for me that that one moment where

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I get this news, a little bit later, I’m talking to someone else and they had mentioned. Okay, you know what, go back and talk to this person and say, look, this is what I’ve accomplished over the last month.

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Let me get in front of you. Let me talk to you and discuss what I have going on in my brain right now because it’s

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It’s right here. Whereas in another month. It may not be as the focal point of where I need to be so for me I think it’s just a matter of how do I get around that. How do I move that out of my way to where I can progress with what I want to accomplish.

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Right, yeah. So you just gotta kind of mean as part of the bigger perspective. And I think that’s one of the things we keep hitting one today with with this show is

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You know, the goal. The end goal, the vision. The watching the horizon and knowing where you’re headed. That’s what it’s going to keep you from from getting buffeted too much right it’s

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The moments are going to come up and down. And so you’ve got to keep the long range vision or else those little things are going to turn into big things. Yeah, absolutely.

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Owners turn into setbacks. Yeah, and I think

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I think it takes it takes time, you know, and it takes a confidence level and I’m reflecting back on kind of my development as I started building my business units. I spent years just

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I was academic. I mean, I came out, I started working for big law firms I largely did what other people told me to do.

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And it wasn’t till about six years ago when I started running my law firm that I started jumping into really doing more personal development.

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And it really did become important to get perspective, you know, and to think about how things impact you. And what’s important and what’s not important.

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And, you know, these small setbacks, they’re going to keep coming, particularly if you’re a business owner, if you’re an entrepreneur. If you’re selling services, you’re going to get set back setbacks setback right um

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But you got to keep the big picture of where you’re headed and the goal and the progress, you’re making to the goals.

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rather than focus on those individual moments that for me, that seemed to have helped a lot. You know, and those

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You get the rejections for the client or you don’t get what you were hoping to get or you don’t get the speaking engagement, you wanted to get

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You say, Okay, I’m still moving. You know, and there’s unexpected upsides to right i mean you know in life, you’re going to

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Somebody’s going to somebody’s going to throw something at you. That’s good. That that’s helpful that just pops in your lap. Right. So just don’t know. And it could be one minute to the next. Yeah.

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So true, so very true. You know, and it’s the, the bigger goals are, what’s important, all of your goals are worth it. Right.

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But right

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When, when you do get kicks down like job for me it’s it’s not about it. It’s more about, okay, you know, again, how do I go about

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This in a different way and and say something like that where somebody, all of a sudden, all of a sudden gives you this great piece of information and that piece of information that you were lacking for that one goal.

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So right you know you have to just kind of open your eyes and realize okay so this is a setback, but maybe in the next week or two, something’s going to appear. And that’s going to help me achieve that goal later on.

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Right. So I think that that big perspective is key. And yeah, you’re right. Sometimes those setbacks.

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Are actually the avenues to what you want to get that direction, a new way to try something new. It gives you a new connection sometimes causes you to go

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build new perspective and so that those setbacks sometimes are the way to the goal, believe it or not, it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.

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But sometimes you look backwards. It’s like, because I had that setback and I know a lot of people own businesses and it’s because they work for other people and they’re frustrated, it didn’t quite work out the way they had hoped.

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I think I put myself, probably in that bucket to my career didn’t develop the way I wanted it to the way I envisioned working for other people. So I had to jump out on my own and get that freedom and that self accountability.

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To enable me to grow into, you know, the types of things that I wanted to do with my life, my career. So sometimes it’s sometimes it’s a hidden blessing. You just don’t realize it when you’re getting a setback.

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That’s so true. You know, I’ve gone through several years of setbacks, like that. And I look back on it now. And I think, wow, that’s exactly what needed to happen for me to basically break out of where I was at and you know move into this new career for me as a mental health speaker.

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Right, and I think that’s, that’s a great thing. So speaking of which Deanna as we as we wind up here. How do people get ahold of you.

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I am on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, I’m on pretty much everything so yeah

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She’s available to come in and speak to your groups and really get people thinking about this and work with people and really open up this thinking about the types of issues we’re talking about maybe you’ve got some change going into your organization. Something’s happening.

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A good or bad and you need to get your teams aligned that that’s great resource for that.

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Folks, you know we love your comments, let us know what you’re thinking, maybe you have maybe you’re dealing with an issue just comment below if you’re willing to talk about it publicly, let us know what’s going on and

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What perspective, you got made what tools you use, we’d love to read about it. I will be checking those out on both of our LinkedIn feeds and over on

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McBride for business on Twitter and the

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Future done right YouTube channel will be checking all those drop your comments there. I wanted to note that we do have a handful of positions available for motivated people that want to do some research support and into the future of business.

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You learn about that at planning done right comm slash in terms and I’ll remind you can also see past videos, including one with the ANA and others.

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Over at future done right calm and also see our upcoming videos click RSVP and you can watch these tapings live so thanks for joining us, everybody, and we’ll catch you in the back to doing the hard work. Thanks for being here. Deanna

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Thank you. Sorry. Appreciate it. Always a pleasure.

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Always fun

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